Ok, here I am, writing my first post in english. I don't know exactly why I am doing so. Some of you might think that it's just because I want to show how bad my english is. Well, I don't like writing in other languages than spanish, and only when I let my thoughts flow through my hand written in the language of Cervantes they can really express what's going on in my soul. However, I think that I can guess why I am writing this in english. Indeed, I should go back to the second phrase of this post and confess that I already lied once. I know exactly why. I do it because I want somebody, a very specific person, to understand it. I am not sure if she will ever read this, but I just feel this impulsive need to let her know that these words are for her.
After more than eight months living in this country, I was starting to feel a bit disoriented. It has been really hard to accept that most of the good friends I had last semester are gone to their countries, and at the end only Rafael remained in this land to suffer the rain and to enjoy the cheese. Afer my trps to Germany and Italy, my life changed in almost every aspect, and I had to start again building a new life for myself. I always needed a motivation to keep my normal life going. All the science that I love, all the stars and galaxies, all the history, all the books that I read, they do not make any sense if I don't have next to me a special person to share all this special things with. This is not saying that my life is sad when I am in my single state. I just find it so more exciting when there's this special person there, with her smile, just sharing her happiness with me.
After some reflexion during the summer months, I was already convinced that the experiences I had before had made me invulnerable to that sweet and amazing creature of then thousand heads called love. Yeah, it's always easy to convince yourself that you won't fall in love again, but then someone appears and then you feel that strange tikling in your stomach...
It happened to me only a couple of times in my life, but now it seems that it's happening again. An incredible charm, an amazing personality are both dazzling me, and my brain, head and soul cannot really explain to each other where all these beautiful feelings are coming from. This words are for her, this words are for that amazing creature of nature that has given a new sense to my life in Leiden. When I think about the facts, I see it just like a platonic obsession. But I would give my whole life for one more day like yesterday, when I had her close to me.